Boomer called up Bernie, said
"We're up here for the holiday,
Marv and I are doing Westwood One
Color and Play by Play."
And Cleveland Browns fan Bernie
Watched his wife hang biscuits on a tree
Wearing the Browns jersey of
Mike Pruitt's number 43
So Bernie said, "It's Christmas,
But our friendship's never been that strong,
I love the Browns, you love the Bengals.
Do you think we can get along?"

And so Bernie and the Boomer sit together for a meal
Finding faith and common ground in hating Pittsburgh Steelers
And as they looked into the sea of snow and sicles made of ice
They sent a prayer to Shottenheimer and a prank call to Sam Wyche

The food was great, the wine just good the fire burned on the yule log
And everything seemed normal, 'til Bernie started barking like a dog
Marv Albert up and said, "That's quite a turn-on," and he ran up the stairs
Where later he would be found wearing Bernie's spouse's underwears
The Boomer asked what it was like to be burned by the Elway Drive
"It broke my heart," said Bernie, "just Like the leg of Tim Krumrie"	

And so Bernie and the Boomer sat together for a meal
Finding faith and common ground in hating Pittsburgh Steelers
The Boomer said "At least I've been there," to the Super Bowl's great joys
But he'd forgotten Bernie's ring with the '93 Cowboys

When the conversation turned to great men of football renown
They could agree on just one hero the mighty Mister Paul Brown
And things got a bit testy when Boomer turned to Bernie's son
Who whispered my favorite player's Ocho Cinco Chad Johnson
While Marvin danced and Boomer laughed and Bernie frowned his wife ignored
Her thoughts of what life would be like if they had moved to Baltimore,
	
And so Bernie and the Boomer sat together for a meal
Finding faith and common ground in hating Pittsburgh Steelers
It's a great truth of holidays that spirit can transcend our past
But when Browns fans sit with Bengals all that goodwill goes right in the trash