Oh yeah
That's right baby
You know what tonight is?
Tonight's the night we're going to celebrate Christmas Eve.
And do you know why?
Because it's December 24th. 
And December 24th is the night we usually celebrate Christmas Eve.
So conditions are perfect.
You're all snuggled in your bed
Thinkin' about how miserable you're going to be tomorrow at your brother's inlaw's house.
But that doesn't matter right now.
Because I'm here. And when I'm here, it's only one time.
It's Christmas Time.
It's Christmas Time.

It's Christmas, It's Christmas Time
When it's time to put up a tree, it's time for Christmas 
	that's why we call it Christmas time ooh
It's Christmas, it's Christmas Time

I look over my list to see who has been naughty and who has been nice.
Then I switch the filenames because in real life nice people finish last.
But you're a lucky girl. Because you've been very naughty.
So I'll be providing you with what you deserve.
Toys.
And by toys I mean Fisher-Price. Because who can't use Fisher Price?
Maybe you have a young niece or nephew or a co-worker with children.
Maybe you plan on having one of your own?
And you know how that starts.
Ohh yeah.
With a husband.
Maybe that's what you want for Christmas. 
I might have what you want this Christmas Time.
This Christmas Time.

It's Christmas, it's Christmas Time
Wanna get a boyfriend wanna get a husband round for Christmas time ooh
It's Christmas, it's Christmas Time

Slidin... Slidin down... Slidin down your... Slidin down your CHIMNEY
That is not a euphemism I will actually be sliding down your chimney.
And it's gonna be TIGHT.
That is also not a euphemism but a reference to my obesity.
You tell me, "I don't have a chimney I live in a rent-control apartment
	on the upper East side."
Well that's no problem. See I can still arrive to give you your presents.
That's the magic of Christmas.
Also, it would help if you left your security system off.
When I get there I'm gonna pull out my sack.
And it's big.
And you're gonna get what's inside as a Christmas present.
Because it's Christmas time.
It's Christmas time.

It's Christmas, it's Christmas time
Running from the law, running from the cops for B & E it's Christmas time Ooh
It's Christmas, it's Christmas time