Recently in artifacts Category


Items found while looking for something else amongst the eight hard drives that now make up my home network.

2006 Holiday Card #10



2006 Holiday Card #9



2006 Holiday Card #8



2006 Holiday Card #7



2006 Holiday Card #6



2006 Holiday Card #5



2006 Holiday Card #4



2006 Holiday Card #3



2006 Holiday Card #2



It's the holiday season | 2006 Holiday Card, #1

Since I'm not posting my individual holiday EP tracks until the record is finished, I'll tide you all over by putting a daily sample of the cards I sent out last year on this site. Note that these are just converted Adobe Illustrator images, and don't have the same type or (obviously, since they were hand-inked) colors that cards people actually received did.

If 2007 is the first year you're getting one of my cards, having a context for previous years will help immensely. So here goes with #1.



Artifact #A14

LA Hangout, bar portrait, 30 July 2007.

Artifact #A13

Artifact #A12

Artifact #A11

Clipping from the Athens News, April 1999.

Artifact #A10

3 April 1998, back when having a story move on the AP Wire was a big deal.

That's not my writing, BTW. They rewrote my story. And they did it suckily.

Artifact #A9

Bar napkin, Riviera Hotel & Casino, Las Vegas, 14 June 2007.

Artifact #A8

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My first band, New Pattern Shirt. Television celebrity Mark Sickmiller on the left, myself on the right as vocalist and bass player.

Photo taken Fall 1996 and apparently with a Kodak Brownie.

Artifact #A7

Mandalay Entertainment makes movies.

Movies like Wild Things and Donnie Brasco.

They run Mandalay Bay Hotel & Casino, home to the best pool in Las Vegas. Its "best pool in Vegas" designation is mainly due to the fact that it is a topless pool. All pools are topless for me.

They also own the Las Vegas 51's, named for the Groom Lake installation 80 miles north of Las Vegas, also known as Area 51 (not Area 51-A) and where the military keeps all the aliens they collect from Strip swimming pools.

Having an alien as a mascot is freaking great, and baseball is best enjoyed outside and at 110 degrees F.

Artifact #A6

Bar portrait, L.A. Hangout, 12 June 2007.

Artifact #A5

Bar portrait, L.A. Hangout, 12 June 2007.

Artifact #A4

Bar portrait, L.A. Hangout, 12 June 2007.

Artifact #A3

Bar portrait, L.A. Hangout, 12 June 2007.

Artifact #A2

Taken from the door of Gorman's Pub, Peoria, IL, November 2002.

Artifact #A1

Bar napkin portrait quartet, March, 2007

But these things I have done, I cannot deny

Bush is on television right now, and while I don't know for what reason, he got nary a paragraph into his speech before bringing up September 11th. Has he not worn out the 9/11 welcome? Seriously?

I'm in a crabby mood this morning. Why? Because Level3 and Cogent are being crybabies. What this means for me is that I can't access any servers -- which means my email is useless, but more importantly, I can't get on Blackboard to download my readings for class tonight. I'd consider using an open proxy, but I'm not about to send my auth info through an open proxy.

September the 11th. He just said it again. Al Qaeda. Al Qaeda. September the 11th. Nukular. September the 11th. This is getting absurd.

"They aim to create a vast Islamic empire stretching from Spain to Pakistan." Domino theory, anyone? IS IT TIME FOR ISLAMIC DETENTE? He just dropped a Weapons of Mass Destruction. Who takes this guy seriously?

Anyway, the main point of Level3's argument with Cogent is that Cogent is pushing wayyyyyy too much content and not paying for it. Cogent's not a real Tier 1 ISP, and they give bandwidth to customers away like candy. Mainly to porn sites. So my rants and railings against internet porn being the downfall of the internet as a whole are appearing to be more than the unlikely doomsday scenario you all said they were, eh? I can't access my readings for class tonight. I can't email my prof to tell him why I missed class yesterday (my Jeopardy! audition ran long. Oh, yeah, I had a Jeopardy! audition yesterday. It went well. I'm on the list. Maybe I'll write a story about it, but the long and short of it is I was the youngest, and by far the most attractive [by that i mean, not suffering from severe weight/skin issues], person amongst the 100 or so auditioning), I'm pretty much miserable and it's all because of internet porn.

Here's your artifact of the day, BTW. Dr. Alison Snyder-whatever makes a second appearance. Interestingly, I have held this photo since September 1993 and never noticed the caption-writer switched the names of the two girls in back.

"We were not in Iraq on September 11th, 2001. And Al Qaeda attacked us anyway. No act of ours incited the rage of the killers." Really? Is that why they attacked us, and not, say, CANADA? Or Holland?

This speech is scaring the shiat out of me. The rhetorical structure is very, very similar to some of Hitler's early speeches.

Here's some things you ought to be reading.
1. Van Morrison had to record an album to fulfill a contract obligation early in his career. Instead of using it as inspiration for a great song ("One Down") like Ben Folds, he recorded a bunch of nonsense backed by a guitar he didn't even bother to tune. It's quite hilarious. Check out the mp3s here.
2. Zombie takes a look at the anatomy of a photograph, showing how the San Francisco Chronicle's clever cropping changed the meaning of a captured event entirely. It's a good example of media bias.
3. Enough has been written about Harriet Miers that I won't go into it except to say that the one positive quality Bush has said about her is that she is "unwavering," a clear message to conservatives that she's not a Kennedy, Souter, or O'Connor. Yet she was a Catholic Democrat her entire life until only a few years ago. That's unwavering? David Bernstein is much more eloquent than me.

This post was supposed to be about having really unwelcome feelings for someone and how I'm too old to be having unrequited crushes, and how they always lead to inspiration but that my schedule doesn't allow me to write, and how I feel stifled and upset because I can't even get the one positive thing that can come from those emotions, but I never really got around to that, did I?
Current Mood: annoyed

A sad, sad day

Nipsey Russell is dead.

I don't have time to explain the difficulty with which I'm dealing with this. I can't find my very intimately personally signed "photo" from Nipsey, who was, for all purposes, a bit of a mascot of mine. I'll post it tonight or something. I'm really busy.

I did find an artifact of another kind though, and hope to bring back the daily artifacts. Here it is.

The girl on the left would later become Miss Ohio. In the middle? Graduated from med school at Washington University, and is now married. So, uh, I kind of pale in comparison. Though I have a killer tan in that photo for some reason.
Current Mood: busy

The Razor's Edge

Courtesy Aaron, it's my full performance at the Pegasus Lounge on May 19th, 2005... I'll put up the May 26th performance tomorrow or Thursday.

I was hammered as shit

1. Intro (1:43)
2. Woke You Up (1:40)
3. Coffee In Your Cup (3:41)
4. Spur-M (2:18)
5. Shawn Kemp Is My Daddy Blues (3:32)
6. Waterfalls [TLC] (3:23)


Busy week. In the middle of studying for a midterm this afternoon, then teaching, then Team Trivia, then I fly to Ohio tomorrow. So, probably no new songs over the weekend, unless I take my harmonica or subject you all to my parents' woefully out-of-tune piano. Actually, I believe my brother owns a halfway decent bass guitar, so maybe we'll throw something together.

I do have an artifact for today, behind the cut, and yesterday's song. I'll try and write one today but, shit, I have a midterm to study for.

Yesterday's song was written for my performance last night, which went very well. It's about ten minutes long, 9 megs, so be patient. It's the first instrumental I've recorded, but not the first I've written. I'll get to those when I get to them. (9:45, 9megs, HAMMOND B3 ORGAN (i'm becoming an addict))


Artifact #4

And a new song coming as soon as Jenn goes to work.

Artifact #3

Today's song is titled "Home." I think all the beating on my guitar is putting it out of tune. Oh well. (4:03, 2megs, cheesy poker references)

Here are the lyrics, I think they are poorly served by my musical abilities.

Bartender, give me just one more
Stonemason's lying on the floor
I'd pick him up but I was told not to do heavy lifting.
Sunglasses perched upon your head
Hair like you just got out of bed
Eyes wide as dinner plates and I'll be damned there's someone cookin'
I'm chuckin' snowballs at the sun
You say it's not all that much fun
Giv eyou the finger and you chase me down into the cellar
Press you up against the wall
You smell rustic just like fall
I take your breath away but I'm so nice I let you have it back

'Cause everybody wants a place they can call their home
A place that makes 'em feel just right
So, c'mon, tell me, baby
Where you sleepin' tonight?

Bartender, can I get a light
I'm throwing down big slick tonight
I got the Hammer but the next hand I'll be floating bullets
You're curlign rocks along my pond
You're throwing bricks and I'm not fond
You know you're safe with me but then again it's barely raining
Give me a sign of what you mean
Can't understand what's in between
The sign and signified I'm semiotic George Steinbrenner
The cafe walls are filled with names
Of people who called and complained
She broke teir hearts but they just didn't learn their lesson on the side

I'm staring rainbows in the eye
You're floating up into the sky
I'd wave goodbye
But I know that you're not really leavin'

With apologies to Tom Waits

It seems I rip someone new off every day. Fitting that with a hangover I do Tom Waits, though. Also, Day #2 of the artifact project. (2:17, 2 megs or so, "fuck")

Here is your artifact for the day.


I'm going to try and scan an artifact in every day. Today is my response to what people commonly ask me: "What, exactly, are you writing in those little notebooks all the time?"

This would be what I wrote Wednesday night, watching someone sing karaoke.


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