September 2008 Archives

QUIT PANICKING YOU IDIOTS

It's called the FDIC, you idiots.

My bank failed today. It could have been taken over by the FDIC, but it wasn't. Chase bought it. So now I don't have money with WaMu, it's with Chase. That is to say, if I had money. Which I don't.

But I am amused and angered by the number of people who are storming to WaMu (it's a major bank down here) to get their money out.

Why?

Unless you have more than $100 grand in the bank, you don't need to get it. It's insured by the FDIC. If the bank fails, the FDIC takes it over immediately and guarantees your deposits. Your ATM card still works, your checks still work, everything works as normal. If you aren't near your bank, you can get your money sent to you in a Treasury check. It takes about one business day.

QUIT PANICKING YOU IDIOTS

22 September, 2008 -- FOXBORO, MA: Patriots coach Bill Belichick on Monday bemoaned his team's response to the Dolphins' single-wing offense that allowed running back Ronnie Brown to run for four touchdowns and throw for another. Belichick suggested the Patriots should have been prepared.

i love you all

So I woke up today and saw all these "You have a new message on Facebook" emails. And I started to freak out and wonder what I'd done on the Internet that led people to feel they needed to contact me. Then I realized it was people wishing me a happy birthday.

So that is sweet of you to do that. In return, I give you national household income distributions for 2007.

WE PUT THE WEAK IN ENTERTAINMENTWEAKLY

oh god it keeps getting better

Sarah Palin, interview with Newsmax, 29 August 2008

What is your take on global warming and how is it affecting our country?
A changing environment will affect Alaska more than any other state, because of our location. I'm not one though who would attribute it to being man-made.

Sarah Palin, interview with ABC News, aired 11 September 2008

Do you still believe that global warming is not man made?
I believe that man's activities certainly can be contributing to the issue of global warming, climate change.

So which is it?

*facepalm*

GIBSON: What insight into Russian actions, particularly in the last couple of weeks, does the proximity of the state give you?

PALIN: They're our next door neighbors and you can actually see Russia from land here in Alaska, from an island in Alaska.

it's REFRESHING

Just when I thought YTMND had lost its luster...

They give me "Tired of Party Politics?"

God bless the fine site-creators at YTMND for taking tired cliches and making them fads again.

what the hell is wrong with Wasilla, AK???

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So, this is pretty much ridiculous.

"I had the privilege of living most of my life in a small town." -- Sarah Palin, 3 September 2008

Really? Living most of your life in Wasilla is a privilege? Perhaps you might want to rethink that.

2005 violent crime rates, per Uniform Crime Database (2005 is the most recent year full data is available, and is the last year Sarah Palin was the mayor of Wasilla)

Wasilla, AK - 1200
Chicago, IL - 1192
National average - 469.2

We all know Chicago is a violent place. It is, after all, the home of Bad, Bad Leroy Brown. But perhaps if Leroy were REALLY bad, he'd move to Wasilla. Here's something that should scare you.

2005 forcible rape rate

Wasilla, AK - 38.3
Chicago, IL - 33.8
National average - 31.7

Lest you think this is an outlier,

2003 (2004 the FBI did not publish rates for cities < 10,000 in population)

Violent crime

Wasilla, AK - 1728
Chicago, IL - 1300
National average - 475

Forcible rape

Wasilla, AK - 93.4
Chicago, IL - 45.0
National average - 32.1

Yes, you read that right. Under Sarah Palin, the rate of rape in Wasilla was nearly 300% the national average.

No wonder Palin wanted rape victims to pay for their own forensic rape examinations.

wasilla, AK is really not very large

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Karl Rove is notorious for claiming in this video that Sarah Palin was the mayor of Alaska's "second-largest city." (It's actually the fifth-largest.) But this is Alaska we're talking about. Much like Canadian money, those values don't convert to the same thing down here in the mainland.

To put this in perspective, consider that if Wasilla was in Ohio, it would be the 212th-largest city in the state. (Per 2006 Census Dept. statistics.)

And that's OHIO.

Speaking of Ohio, it is a shame college football games are 60 minutes long and not 45. And that is all I have to say about that.

someone tell john mccain to stop lying

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Today McCain and Palin made their first public appearance after the convention. McCain proudly told the crowd Sarah Palin sold the Alaska-owned luxury jet on eBay -- for a profit!

Of course, that's not true. She listed it four times, it failed to sell each time, and she ended up dumping it through a broker for $300,000 less than its appraised value.

Palin knew this, and yet stood by and said nothing.

Watch.

it speaks for itself

McCain wants to fight illiteracy. I think that's a good idea.

this should frighten you

what is a community organizer?

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Sarah Palin seems to be confused as to what, exactly, is a community organizer. Perhaps I can provide an answer.

well, how about that

and it just keeps getting better

she's a fascist, too!!!

as mayor, Palin continued to inject religious beliefs into her policy at times. "She asked the library how she could go about banning books," he says, because some voters thought they had inappropriate language in them. "The librarian was aghast." The librarian, Mary Ellen Baker, couldn't be reached for comment, but news reports from the time show that Palin had threatened to fire her for not giving "full support" to the mayor.

Yesterday's Photoshop has spread around the Intarwebs like wildfire. Here's today's. I doubt it will be as popular.

he hasn't been home in months

I'm Brian Williams, and my underwear is mad crusty.

I'M SO CLEVER

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HURR HURR HURR

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    This page is an archive of entries from September 2008 listed from newest to oldest.

    August 2008 is the previous archive.

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