December 2007 Archives

a modest proposal

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Ace Davis, paraphrased:

The NFL draft exists to replenish players. Teams that don't subject their starters to a full season's abuse (i.e. teams that, like the Indianapolis Colts, don't play their starters in the final game and either actively tank or [as Tony Dungy did] passively allow the other team to win) are clearly at less need to replenish players -- and should be penalized by losing their first-round picks in the NFL draft.

It's reasonable, and it would end the disgusting charade of a football game we saw last night. Indianapolis tanked their game, not only to "protect their starters," but to ensure Tennessee (a division rival) earned a worse draft pick through their 10-6 record.

The Colts have damaged the integrity of the game far more than Michael Vick ever could, and I'm astonished Roger Goodell cares so much about the latter and not at all about the former.

Fox News: A paragon of insight

Fox News commentator:

"Bhutto's assassination is clearly a setback to her campaign for change."

Well that's not surprising. Being dead tends to get in the way of one's productivity.

Unless you're Tupac, or Biggie. Those dudes turned it into a real shot in the arm.

Get it? "Shot" in the arm? I'm hilarious.

TV shows I've seen in their entirety

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The following is a list of television shows of which I am reasonably sure I have seen every regular-season episode:

Veronica Mars
The Simpsons
Family Guy
Arrested Development
Kyle XY
Boston Legal
Dawson's Creek
Saved By The Bell
The West Wing
Studio 60 (like that was hard, it didn't even last a full season)
Out Of Control "CUT IT OUT!"
Parker Lewis Can't Lose
Beavis & Butt-head
Square One Television
Clarissa Explains It All
The John Larroquette Show
Ned and Stacey
Two Guys, A Girl, and A Pizza Place
South Park

Holiday 2007 Omnibus Archive --> all the new songs!

Note to regular readers: is routing to this entry for the time being, to allow everyone who gets their cards and CDs to see all that went into this year's editions. If you don't want to ruin the surprise, back away. If you don't think you're on my Christmas list (and why aren't you? It's up to 85), or are too curious to hold back (or wait until after Christmas, when most of you will be receiving your cards/CDs anyway), click the jump.

It's Christmas Time

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Yes, I know you're all anxiously awaiting your CDs. They're going in the mail tomorrow. Here's the hidden track from this year's album to tide you over. Obviously, a parody of Flight of the Conchords.

Christmas Time (4:06) (mp3)

Christmas Time (4:06) (m4a)

2006 Holiday Card #10



2006 Holiday Card #9



2006 Holiday Card #8



Sometimes we agree

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Tim Fasano is an interesting guy. We tend to butt heads politically a lot, but I've met him in person and overall think he's a pretty cool dude. The intarweb needs more hack bloggers (as opposed to blogger hacks like yours truly) because I've long felt taxi drivers know more about the world than anyone other than priests. And they're pretty much the same thing.

Tim really hit the nail on the head today, when discussing Polk County sheriff Grady Judd:

Redneck Grady Judd said the man - who is now facing LIFE IN PRISON - was "Hiding behind the First Amendment." What? You cannot hide behind something that is your right dumb-ass. Consenting adults looking at what you described as "dirty pictures" is not a crime. You cannot even define what a "dirty picture" is.

Judd is a registered Republican, but make no mistake, is not one. Republicans believe in reduced government involvement in peoples lives.

Always charming, always opinionated. That's your local cabbie at work, and his appreciation for the First Amendment is always commendable.

2006 Holiday Card #7



2006 Holiday Card #6



The difference between Canada and the U.S.

Beyond less crime, free medical care, and more civil liberties, there is one significant difference Canada has over the United States.

In the U.S., a certain group responsible for lulz are hackers on steroids and an Internet Hate Machine.

In Canada, the same is an Internet Vigilante Group, kind of like Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles but without the ninja skills or being, well, turtles.

All hail Anonymous!

2006 Holiday Card #5



2006 Holiday Card #4



2006 Holiday Card #3



2006 Holiday Card #2



It's the holiday season | 2006 Holiday Card, #1

Since I'm not posting my individual holiday EP tracks until the record is finished, I'll tide you all over by putting a daily sample of the cards I sent out last year on this site. Note that these are just converted Adobe Illustrator images, and don't have the same type or (obviously, since they were hand-inked) colors that cards people actually received did.

If 2007 is the first year you're getting one of my cards, having a context for previous years will help immensely. So here goes with #1.



We are not SAFE

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I was going to post here about the SAFE act, a law passed nearly unanimously by the U.S. House (one of the two nay votes came from the only tolerable Republican Presidential candidate, Ron Paul) that would, upon passage, make nearly the entire Internet illegal.

This YTMND explains it much more clearly than I could. Plus, the soundtrack is good.

Chip Reese is dead

Chip Reese is dead at 56.

Chip Reese was bad -- bad as in really, really good. I'm of the opinion that yesterday, he was the best all-around (incorporating tournaments, ring games, heads-up, and mixed games) poker player alive. Now he's one of the better all-around poker players who are dead (Stu Ungar vs. Chip Reese, heads-up, HORSE. I'll kill myself now if it means I get to be a railbird).

Pauly has yet to comment, but Linda has, and there's a post at The Poker Prof (by, erm, Pauly) that highlights Reese's career.

I am an unabashed academicist, if that word means what I think it does. Chip Reese came out of Dayton, graduated (or did he? sources have debated that for some time now) in econ from Dartmouth, and used his game theory knowledge to crush cash games around the globe. His chapter on Seven-Card Stud in Super/System is still considered the exemplar tutorial, and his heads-up showdown with Andy Bloch in the 2006 $50,000 HORSE event is still my favorite moment (if one can call eight hours a moment) in poker history.

For more, check out Amy Calistri's blog, CardPlayer, or this really great essay from The Professor, The Banker, And The Suicide King author Michael Craig:

There has to be, to some degree, a recognition that behind the smile and the sunny manner was a man who devoted himself with every fiber of his being to separating you from your money. In fact, a memorial to Chip Reese must recognize the dichotomy in all gamblers: being nice is good business and good form but its goal is to strip other people of their money and leave them feeling alright about their loss. If you are a professional gambler, that's what you do, and if you have any reservations, your success will be foreclosed or limited.

That says a lot about poker and identity, doesn't it?

I have traveled more than the average American. I have been to states like Idaho and South Dakota, places nobody goes except for funerals, and even then they try and make sure something comes up that would preclude the trip. (I was there for work.)

I've been to Oregon and Alabama and Missouri, Nebraska (with my family) and Iowa (for sex) and Delaware, New Jersey, New York, the whole Eastern Seaboard, Tennessee and Kentucky and Illinois, Michigan, Texas. Nevada. Arizona. Louisiana. Massachusetts, Pennsylvania, West Virginia, and most importantly Wyoming (it was a flyover state I was unfortunately forced to drive through).

Alas, I've never been overseas, and my extranational travel has been limited to Ontario. Even then, I haven't been there since November, 1997, when the Sneakdogg and I tripped up to Windsor to meet Dan Stark to see this musician he'd been raving about, Sarah Slean, opening for Moe Berg (not the late catcher/spy, the guy from The Pursuit of Happiness) at a small place above another small place downtown. I was down with the five-hour road trip from Athens because I listened to good music back then; Sneakdogg was down because the drinking age in Canada is 19 and the Canadian dollar was worth then what the American dollar is worth now.

We only spent one night there, heading home in the morning. I haven't left the States since. But one thing I did that night, one small act, has come back to haunt me.

See, I used an ATM at the bar to get cash in order to buy Sarah's tape (yeah, she didn't have a CD yet, just a six-song cassette).

Why is this a big deal? Because the lawsuit by credit-card holders against the credit-card companies has been settled, a $336 million handover that offers anyone who used a MasterCard or Visa outside the U.S. (from 1996 to 2004) a refund on the jacked-up fees they were illegally charged. Even if you only spent a few bucks, you're eligible for the $25 "basic refund."

Twenty-five bucks is nice, certainly. Yet I'm a bit put off by how they managed to not only find me today (via U.S. mail) but deliver a personalized settlement form, featuring my current address.

Since the ATM transaction that made me privy to the lawsuit, I've made the following address changes:

Athens (1) -> Napoleon
Napoleon -> Athens (2)
Athens (2) -> Athens (3)
Athens (3) -> Napoleon
Napoleon -> Ypsilanti (1)
Ypsilanti -> Napoleon
Napoleon -> Ypsilanti (2)
Ypsilanti (2) -> Napoleon
Napoleon -> Zanesville (1)
Zanesville (1) -> Zanesville (2) [you might remember this house]
Zanesville (2) -> Tampa (1)
Tampa (1) -> Tampa (2) [not to be confused with the Tampa 2]
Tampa (2) -> Clearwater

That's 13 moves between 11 addresses. Yet they tracked me down, and with nary a sign of a forwarding address.

You should be scared. Also, if you used a credit card overseas at some point in the last year, you should be looking in your mailbox for a rebate form.

Incidentally, looking at the list I see I've lived in a lot of cities that start with a rare letter. I have A, C, N, T, Y, and Z covered. (W if you consider that my Tampa address was technically Wesley Chapel.) I should try and live in enough cities to cover the alphabet. Unfortunately, that means moving to China. The only cities on Earth that start with X and with colleges are Xi An and Xiamen. The only city (pop. > 5,000) in America that starts with X is Xenia, Ohio, so maybe I could live there and teach at Dayton. Xenia's a nice place, if you can get past the tornadoes.


I have nothing to add to this except a hearty "Har-Har."


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    This page is an archive of entries from December 2007 listed from newest to oldest.

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