May 2006 Archives

A question for anyone with an answer

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Okay, so a Weapon of Mass Destruction was found nearby at a porn shop up Rt. 301. I can't figure something out:


Killed five. Weapon of Mass Destruction

Weird chemical mix at the porn shop:

Killed zero. Weapon of Mass Destruction

TEC-DC9 used by Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold:

Killed 12. Not a Weapon of Mass Destruction

Speaking of things that make one vomit

Rev. O'Neal Dozier, pastor of the Worldwide Christian Center in Pompano Beach:

"Homosexuality makes God want to vomit."

Gov. Jeb Bush, who appointed Dozier to a group that nominates judges in South Florida, didn't directly respond to the remark, but praised Dozier.

"Far be it from me to judge about people's faiths and what occurs because of it," Bush said. "He is very sincere. Rev. Dozier's a good man."

more on this

Of course, this is the same guy who said Jesus told him Republican Charlie Crist will be the next Florida governor.

A first

My mother is a tender, reserved person, whose sense of humor really erupts when she's performing on stage or behind a microphone. She's also a caustic, side-of-the-mouth type that only people who can be quiet around her ever notice. My father and I not being the quiet types have never noticed this, but former girlfriends of mine have often commented on how much they love my mom's snide under-the-breath comments and asides while my father and I banter about the various esoteric topics that make up our average family conversations.

So tonight I heard my mother laugh harder than I have ever observed when I told her over the phone that I purchased a seersucker suit today.

"A what?"

"A seersucker suit."


"Hey, it looks good on me!"

"Um, okay. Buying into your southern identity so soon?"

Well, yeah, I guess. It was on sale, and I've always wanted one. They're versatile and attractive. Is it too cliche to rock the straw hat?

Greatest finish ever

That was amazing. I know it was only the second closest finish in history, but the action in the last five laps was truly amazing.

Congratulations to NAPOLEON, OHIO'S OWN SAM HORNISH Jr.!!!!

*catching my breath*

What do you do when your nemesis dies?

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Mike Price dead at 41

Despite my ethos of schadenfreude, and my overall caustic demeanor and black sense of humor, I'm not one to dance on people's graves. Yet finding out today that Mike Price is dead has me... a bit.. confused.

Most of you don't know who Mike Price is, but a few of you do. Mike Price was the speech coach at Grove City College, and was an enormous thorn in my side for most of my career as Director of Forensics at Muskingum College. Price is most famous, or infamous, for walking out on the Rhetorical Criticism speech of Ohio State's Jordi Matsumoto in the quarterfinal round at the 2001 National Forensics Association tournament in Bowling Green, Kentucky. Jordi's speech analyzed the messages presented in a Bible-related theme park. Grove City is known as one of the most conservative four-year schools in the country, and for reasons never fully explained, Price became extremely offended by the speech, and simply walked out in the middle of Jordi's speech, an unprecendented act in Nationals history.

It necessitated a drastic, but proper, scoring decision by the tab staff, though that decision continues to be debated. Jordi went on to finish 5th in Crit at that tournament, emerging from the quarterfinal despite only having four ballots. But Mike Price did a whole hell of a lot more than that. During the tournament I was hosting in 2003, he famously refused to leave the extemp prep room (coaches are not permitted inside it while speech preparation is going on) despite being ordered to by Ryan Donaghy, who was running the extemp room for me. He would regularly screw up ballots on purpose, judging speeches not on their merit but on his own religious principles. His students commonly would be disruptive and antagonistic toward other competitors, and his grasp on the rules of forensics was tenuous at best. We avoided having him judge at all, if possible, and when postings would go up for final rounds, students would audibly groan if they saw his name at the bottom as one of their judges. He was a prick, in and out, and the cause of a large amount of stress on the part of myself and other speech coaches. He was a true nemesis to me, often barging into the tab room (off-limits to all coaches) to argue about some issue or another.

And now he's dead.

(Betsy, remind me of any other Mike Price stories I'm forgetting, as my mind isn't working as well as it used to. Mad Cow, you know.)

This is how we do it


We'll recap the Grey's Anatomy finale when we have a chance, but for the most part, I'm simply say that if Shonda wants to learn how to write a season finale, she could look at last night's ER. shit.

I realize I've made the differentiation in the past about why Grey's isn't and shouldn't be ER, and I certainly hated the Super Bowl bomb scare episode, but, Christ, after Monday's letdown, to have ... I dunno, there were about five real "oh, shit" moments last night, and I wish Television Without Pity still recapped ER but they stopped a looooooong time ago. Go find it on the torrent sites and thank me later. I gotta spend all day packing.

So yeah, no time to put pics up yet, but I do have a YouTube video showing off how cool the wedding venue was. This was actually where both the wedding service and the reception were, just with different configurations. Verdin Bell & Clock Museum, Cincinnati, OH. (LiveJournal kiddos, you know the routine.)

And with one swift stroke, it was over

Was anyone else disappointed that we didn't get to see Toby's reaction?

I'm pretty non-functional right now. The fact I was up at seven this morning, after last night's wedding, drove three hours, boarded a plane, and drove another three hours, followed by saying goodbye to what's really been a rock in my personal world of entertainment... well, yeah. I'm pretty numb right now. And I have to be up at 6:30 tomorrow morning to teach. So we'll chat about the past few weeks... later. Topics include Opening Day, the trip to Atlanta (a post was already written about that, but lost to the world of me not saving Movable Type drafts), depression, heartbreak, professional rejection, losing my roommate, my pending homelessness, and a truly fantastic weekend in the Nasty for Greg and Jenna's wedding. And yeah, I have some comments on the end of the intelligent television era.

Oh, and if you caught the teaser for Studio 60, I can report this: Sorkin is back from the 'shrooms (or maybe back on them) and it's going to be amazing. How do I know? Check out this line from the pilot episode:

WES (beat) What happens if I say no? What if I go on air with the sketch?
JERRY I'm not gonna answer that.
WES Why?
JERRY 'Cause if you still had the muscle to do it you wouldn't have asked.

The entire episode is the classic fast-paced, biting dialogue that's the Sorkin hallmark. I'm psyched. And getting to watch Brad Whitfield scrape out Sorkin's alliteration for the first time in four years is gonna be the best thing ever. What's even better is what happens immediately after that dialogue -- it relates to my lamentation of the death of intelligent television.

Bed time. I'll comment on Grey's Anatomy a year from now or something. And what's with all the inspirational music in the latest Da Vinci Code TV trailers? It's not like it's a story about the triumph of the human spirit or something. It's an action thriller. Unless they plan on having Langdon do his hourlong lectures where he gets all the "facts" wrong while being chased by a killer... like in the book. But I'm pretty sure the movie's only two hours long, so that's doubtful. The history of the sacred feminine's really not all that important, anyway.

The Ballad of David Blaine


David Blaine failed at his attempt to break a record that probably wasn't even the record anyway.

I bear witness to the event and testify with The Ballad of David Blaine.

Hey, we all need slump-busters. 2:42



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    This page is an archive of entries from May 2006 listed from newest to oldest.

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