April 2006 Archives

Coca-Cola Blak: revisited

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It looks like I'm not the only one reviewing Coca-Cola Blak. The Impulsive Buy, Lord Jezo, I Ate A Pie, and News You Can Eat have been talking about it too. Also, The End Is Now.

New posts coming soon, I promise. I still haven't reviewed opening day, and that was weeks ago.

Alphabet meme

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This is how it works: Comment on this entry and I will give you a letter. Write ten words beginning with that letter in your journal, including an explanation what the word means to you and why, and then pass out letters to those who want to play along.

aeonite gave me "B". He also mandated a first-person present tense presentation. I add the stipulation that the stories be linked. Here goes.

Ron Oester arrested for being belligerent

Courtesy the Sickdogg

He was "flailing about." You gotta click it.

I have about four posts in progress. My attention span hasn't been decent enough to finish any of them. I'll try again tomorrow. Several of them have been in progress for a week or more.

Product Review: Coca-Cola Blak

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With a $100 gift card burning in my pocket, I went grocery shopping at Target and came across the wonderful product known as Coca-Cola Blāk.Yes, with the line over the a. That might not show up correctly on your monitor. I'm sure my first-grade teacher Mrs. Inkrott told us what that line was called when we did phonics but I did not pay attention to one minute of my first grade class. I was enveloped in reading Encyclopedia Brown books and daydreaming about Robin Evans from TV's Riptide. Anyway, the line is there to inform you it is not pronounced "black" as in Big Blak Afrika of the Mau Maus:

...but "blake" as in Robert Blake.

Why they named a beverage after the In Cold Blood actor I'll never know. But the line above the A is there clear as day! See?

I felt the pangs of apprehension that I recognized well from pondering involvement with a Bush Voter... or a lesbian... or a student. But it was a scant $4.99 for a four-pack, so I thought I'd bite the bullet and do you all a favor in reviewing the fine product. With industrial pipecleaners I pushed down my inhibitions and placed the brown package in my red receptacle. (That last line is here just to garner google hits from creatively-languaged perv searchers.)

Kareem Wilson bobblehead approves. Will I? Click the jump to find out.

Phone post

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I made a phone post Wednesday night from Turner Field in Atlanta, extremely drunk and apparently while talking to some girls? I don't remember making the call at all, and it was marked private for some reason. Anyway, for your listening pleasure, or displeasure as it may be:

mp3 format
ogg vorbis format

I'll write up a full post when I have a chance, things are a little crazy around here, we are constantly showing the house which is a pain in the ass for me, because it means I need to leave the house... and I have so much work to catch up on having been gone for four days.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

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Maggie Gyllenhaal knocked up, engaged

This is REALLY a bad week for me as far as girls I have crushes on goes. And all in time for my trip to Atlanta tomorrow morning! Meh. Maybe a change in scenery will be good for me.

I guess this 2003 prediction isn't to be:

Tina's birthday pics

Tina's birthday was a blast, and she took plenty of pics.

Most of them involve people putting various objects into my mouth. To wit:

Attention, Meredith

He's not going to pick you,

He's not going to choose you,

He's not going to love you.

I don't need to hear your pathetic pleas in every week's recap, especially when we're constantly having reruns thrown at us.

I, however, will search worldwide for my big-eyed husky-breathed brunette Ivy League doctor. Soooooo ... gimme a call sometime?

Don't fake the funk on a nasty dunk

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So I've been in a really nasty funk lately, the worst I've been in in years. And I feel guilty, because as my friend watches his father die, I'm all worked up over whether or not a girl likes me. Meh.

Last night was a blast... crazy... and I hope I get to see the photos soon. Meanwhile, I thought I'd share a story janked from Sticks Of Fire.

Maybe this was on Fark, too, it certainly should have been.

A 92-year-old man was subdued with a stun gun after he severely beat his 81-year-old roommate at an assisted living facility, the Pasco County Sheriff's Office said early today. Olin Holcombe is in custody for a psychological evaluation. Deputies said he repeatedly hit Roland Casanova with his aluminum cane.

Just down the road from me, even! I love Pasco County. We have murderous Nazis, wildfires, and dead bodies out by the Flying J truck stop.

Now, death and destruction are nothing to laugh at. But the way we do it in Pasco is a wee bit different than the rest of y'all. I mean, come on. The dude was BEATING A GUY NAMED CASANOVA WITH HIS CANE. Maybe he thought the guy was one of those nasty things from beyond the dead.

I'll lube my own crankshaft from now on. You treat me like a baby again I'll wrap this goddamn walker right around yer head!

That's debatable

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Tampa is allegedly the nation's 36th best city for singles

This is down from 26th in 2004. I fail to see, really, how either ranking is really suitable. Then again, Forbes isn't exactly a publication with its finger to the pulse of Young America. Yet reflecting back on my social life here in Tampa, I really have to question what I think is so fabulous about this city in general, as far as being single goes at least. (Sports, Theater, and other entertainment activities are great, of course.)

I suppose it's okay to be single in Tampa if:

a) You're wealthy.
b) You live in South Tampa. [see "a)"]
c) You drive a nice car. I have been asked what kind of car I drive an amazing number of times; never once in Ohio was anything even resembling that query addressed to me.
d) You're really really ridiculously good looking. I am really good looking, but not ridiculously so.
e) You're female.

In all seriousness, I can count on my ten fingers the number of single women in Tampa with whom I've had extended conversations. It's not like up north, where women are happy to be single. Here, EVERYONE is involved, engaged, or married. It blows my mind, sometimes, but it's the honest truth.

I realize I'd meet more single women if I hit up the trendy nightspots. Yet this isn't really an option, because I don't fit into the qualifications noted above. I suppose I could save up for a month to go to HPC or sommat, but... for what?

The key, of course, is the chance encounter at Target with someone who rejects all the bullshit expected of the young professionals in this town, and just enjoys hanging out and being crazy. Best of luck that she enjoys your company and doesn't lose interest after a while.

More to come.

Seriously, who can listen to Rush anymore?

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Re: http://mediamatters.org/items/200604030004

(via Hughes For America)

Seriously, how is it any way appropriate to refer to a rape victim as a "ho"? How is this man even still employed?

(Sorry I've been absent lately. Traffic, papers, I-75 traffic, work, and I-75 being a parking lot have contributed.)

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    This page is an archive of entries from April 2006 listed from newest to oldest.

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