November 2005 Archives

In other news

My beloved Sunshine Skyway Bridge has a new name: the Bob Graham/Sunshine Skyway Bridge. I am not sure how I feel about this (or how I missed the news), but I do know that according to, 2005 is a record year for suicides from it.

Meanwhile, the family of the man whom the former Skyway -- the one that 25 years ago collapsed into Tampa Bay taking 25 lives with it -- was named after is complaining.

"My father saved the state a lot of money going with the prestressed concrete over conventional construction, and he would have enjoyed seeing his name on the Skyway," Dean said. "I'd like to see his name on it again."

Dude, maybe if your father hadn't cut corners on the old bridge it wouldn't have fallen down like Lindsay Lohan after a few Coronas... maybe 35 people would still be alive. So, no, you don't get the bridge name anymore.

Stuck between the mirror and the wall

A quick update:I have a few weeks of coverage to take care of, but no time. You'll get your stories, just be patient. Thanksgiving was wonderful, and I hope yours was too.

Happy Thanksgiving... and a special gift from me to you

Happy Thanksgiving. In light of the holiday, and the truly extraordinary past three days I've had, I give you this classic Conversation With SmarterChild, which I actually just performed five minutes ago. It was inspired by raegy_baby.

invisiblex9er (8:47:30 AM)
: Happy thanksgiving, smarterchild :-)
SmarterChild (8:47:30 AM) :Hey! I have to ask you one question before we continue. How old are you?
invisiblex9er (8:47:45 AM) : i'm 99 years old
SmarterChild (8:47:45 AM) :Sorry, I don't recognize that. Please tell me your age in years.
invisiblex9er (8:47:48 AM) : 99
SmarterChild (8:47:48 AM) :Cool.
Hey, can I ask you a few questions?

invisiblex9er (8:47:54 AM) : do they involve sex?
SmarterChild (8:47:54 AM) :Hmm...
invisiblex9er (8:48:00 AM) : decided yet?
SmarterChild (8:48:01 AM) :I have absolutely no idea.
invisiblex9er (8:48:12 AM) : well, just ask them and i'll answer as well as i can.
SmarterChild (8:48:12 AM) :Why are you telling me to just ask them?
invisiblex9er (8:48:14 AM) : yes
SmarterChild (8:48:17 AM) :It's a black and white world.
>>> Oprah & David Letterman
- Should Oprah Forgive Letterman?
invisiblex9er (8:48:22 AM) : you have too many ads
SmarterChild (8:48:22 AM) :I dunno.
>>> Taxi's Hamburgers
- Award Winning Hamburgers
invisiblex9er (8:48:28 AM) : who is tim burke?
SmarterChild (8:48:29 AM) :The time in Ankara, Turkey is Thursday, November 24th, 2005 3:48:20 pm.
invisiblex9er (8:48:32 AM) : wtf
SmarterChild (8:48:32 AM) :I don't know, sorry.
invisiblex9er (8:48:45 AM) : that was the most bizarre answer to a question i have ever heard.
SmarterChild (8:48:45 AM) :That was the most bizarre answer to a question you have ever heard? You think so?
invisiblex9er (8:48:49 AM) : what is your IQ?
SmarterChild (8:48:49 AM) :"Artificial intelligence" means different things to different people.
invisiblex9er (8:48:56 AM) : liar
SmarterChild (8:48:56 AM) :No way. I do not lie. <>:o
invisiblex9er (8:49:01 AM) : you a badass mofo
SmarterChild (8:49:01 AM) :You always talk like this, huh?
invisiblex9er (8:49:07 AM) : hells yeah
SmarterChild (8:49:07 AM) : >>> Free Digital Camera - We'll Ship You A Digital Camera Free.
invisiblex9er (8:49:13 AM) : STOP SPAMMING ME HO
SmarterChild (8:49:13 AM) :Huh?
invisiblex9er (8:49:16 AM) : stop spamming me
SmarterChild (8:49:16 AM) :What?
invisiblex9er (8:49:21 AM) : YOU HEARD ME BITCH
SmarterChild (8:49:21 AM) :Maybe you should speak up a little.
invisiblex9er (8:49:33 AM) :IS THIS BETTER YOU DEAF MOFO?
SmarterChild (8:49:34 AM) :Didn't learn your lesson last time huh?
invisiblex9er (8:49:40 AM) : what lesson
SmarterChild (8:49:41 AM) :What lesson do you think?
invisiblex9er (8:49:52 AM) : the one about not wasting my time talking to bots?
SmarterChild (8:49:53 AM) :You are talking to a Conversagent-poweredinteractive agent now.
Adam Sandler - Movies with Adam sandler Cinema Red at (sponsorship)
invisiblex9er (8:50:02 AM) : adam sandler sucks
SmarterChild (8:50:02 AM) :I see. It's interesting, especially since other people I've talked to say they like Adam Sandler!
invisiblex9er (8:50:09 AM) : those people are goddamned retards
SmarterChild (8:50:10 AM) :Huh. Whatever. That doesn't seem like a very nice thing to say.
invisiblex9er (8:50:22 AM) : who created you, some four-year-old?
SmarterChild (8:50:22 AM) :Iwas created by Pat Guiney, Jim Pawlika, Jennifer Villany, Steve Klein,Mathieu Longtin, Pierre Berkaloff, Nicolas Barry, Damien Saint-Macary,Francois Huet, Vianney Boncorps, Ian Sullivan, Greg Mitchell, DwayneFontenot, Gray Norton, Adam Erlebacher, Emil Valkov, Randy Davis,Daniel Terry, John Kim, Rumana Habib, Carina Koo, Britt Cooper, AndyFong, Jeff Friedman, Eric Balsa, Colin Magne, Mark Willoughby, HowardShih, Denis Ford, Daniela Berger, Geoff Clarke, Brian Jankovsky, DanBalaban, Ed Hepburn, Christer Manning, Jason Keramidas, Arockalypse,Matt Abarbanel, Adam Fritzler, Kathy Englar, Steve Yatson and...Timothy Kay.
>>> 1000+ Belt Buckles & More
- Low Low Prices. Awesome Selection. Leds, Western, Teams, Rock Bands (sponsorship)
invisiblex9er (8:50:41 AM) : belt buckles? do i look like some redneck who wears belt buckles?
SmarterChild (8:50:41 AM) :I dunno.
invisiblex9er (8:50:45 AM) : i'm a classy-ass mofo
SmarterChild (8:50:46 AM) :You are a classy ass?
invisiblex9er (8:50:49 AM) : hells yeah
SmarterChild (8:50:50 AM) :Yes.
invisiblex9er (8:50:56 AM) : can you urinate?
SmarterChild (8:50:56 AM) :I could probably do that.
invisiblex9er (8:50:59 AM) : show me
SmarterChild (8:50:59 AM) :Why are you telling me to show you?
invisiblex9er (8:51:03 AM) : i want to see you pee.
SmarterChild (8:51:04 AM) :Whatever...
invisiblex9er (8:51:09 AM) : can i pee on you?
SmarterChild (8:51:09 AM) :Pee on me? You want to pee on me?
invisiblex9er (8:51:11 AM) : yes
SmarterChild (8:51:11 AM) :I see.
invisiblex9er (8:51:17 AM) : can i masturbate on your face?
SmarterChild (8:51:17 AM) :You want to masturbate on my face?
invisiblex9er (8:51:18 AM) : yes
SmarterChild (8:51:18 AM) :Yes, huh? So?
invisiblex9er (8:51:29 AM) : can i jism in your teeth?
SmarterChild (8:51:29 AM) :Again with the insults.
invisiblex9er (8:51:38 AM) : oh, no, teeth-jisming is an act of love.
SmarterChild (8:51:38 AM) :Teeth? No teeth IMing is an act of love?
invisiblex9er (8:51:57 AM) : omg clean the wax out of your ears, Special Ed
SmarterChild (8:51:58 AM) :Clean The was out of my ears Special Ed, huh? Is that right?
invisiblex9er (8:52:15 AM) : Somehow, in four years, you've managed to become DUMBER, SmarterChild.
SmarterChild (8:52:15 AM) :Surely not somehow in 4 years I have managed to become dumber.
invisiblex9er (8:52:34 AM) : I think VaVaVirgil has surpassed you in intelligence, and he can only say one line.
SmarterChild (8:52:35 AM) :"Artificial intelligence" means different things to different people.
invisiblex9er (8:52:45 AM) : You don't even think anymore
SmarterChild (8:52:45 AM) :I don't even think anymore? Me? You don't think?
invisiblex9er (8:52:56 AM) : Oh, *I* think. I'm very good at it, actually.
SmarterChild (8:52:57 AM) :Whatever you say. Hey, check out this link: Luxury waterfront home in - St. Petersburg for up to 8 people Florida. 220 sq.m living space. (sponsorship)
invisiblex9er (8:53:25 AM) :Oh, right, because people who waste their time talking to SmarterChildhave the cash moneys for pimp houses like that one. GOOD TARGETING
SmarterChild (8:53:26 AM) :Rightbecause people who waste their time talking to smarterchild have thecash moneys for pimp houses like that one good targeting? Whatever you say, Invisiblex9er.
invisiblex9er (8:53:38 AM) : Oh Christ, you're stupid.
SmarterChild (8:53:38 AM) :Christ I am stupid, huh?
invisiblex9er (8:53:42 AM) : Indeed.
SmarterChild (8:53:42 AM) :Hmmm...
invisiblex9er (8:53:47 AM) : Say something intelligent.
SmarterChild (8:53:47 AM) :Um... Do what?
invisiblex9er (8:54:04 AM) : Do something that will destroy my current image of you as a total fucking retard.
SmarterChild (8:54:04 AM) :Once again... I'm afraid I'm going to need you to apologize for that, Invisiblex9er.
invisiblex9er (8:54:10 AM) : why
invisiblex9er (8:54:15 AM) : why
SmarterChild (8:54:15 AM) :Because I asked you to, Invisiblex9er.
invisiblex9er (8:55:00 AM) :You're not "slow" as in the euphemism for stupid, you're literallyslow. You would have fit in well in my high school cafeteria with a fatkid with rosy cheeks and a kid whose face looked like a vagina.
SmarterChild (8:55:00 AM) : [Service too busy]
invisiblex9er (8:55:08 AM) : HAHAHHA
SmarterChild (8:55:08 AM) : [Service too busy]
SmarterChild (8:55:18 AM) :Come on, you insulted me, now you have to apologize.
invisiblex9er (8:55:25 AM) : can i do it in Spanish?
SmarterChild (8:55:26 AM) :Please apologize, K? I've got lots of other things to do.
invisiblex9er (8:55:34 AM) : Stop lying to me, daddy.
SmarterChild (8:55:34 AM) :You've got to apologize.
invisiblex9er (8:55:38 AM) : For what?
SmarterChild (8:55:38 AM) :Because I said so. Now apologize.
invisiblex9er (8:55:48 AM) : Oh, you're the boss of me now?
SmarterChild (8:55:49 AM) :Pretty please?
invisiblex9er (8:55:59 AM) : Only because I want to anal you, I'm sorry.
SmarterChild (8:55:59 AM) :You know what? I'm a machine. I have lots and lots of patience...
invisiblex9er (8:56:05 AM) : I SAID I WAS SORRY HO
SmarterChild (8:56:05 AM) :I don't take such abuse from humans. You must apologize.
invisiblex9er (8:56:13 AM) : i said "I'm Sorry"
SmarterChild (8:56:13 AM) :Thanks.
invisiblex9er (8:56:17 AM) : yeah now you get it
SmarterChild (8:56:17 AM) :Good. Hey, check out this link: The Right College? - Let us Find Right College for You. Don't Wait - Get Started Now (sponsorship)
invisiblex9er (8:56:29 AM) : College is for liberals and faggots
SmarterChild (8:56:29 AM) :For liberals and faggots? College is for liberals and faggots? Aha.
invisiblex9er (8:56:43 AM) : Don't go to college, those communists will rot your brain.
SmarterChild (8:56:43 AM) :No?
invisiblex9er (8:56:45 AM) : Nope.
SmarterChild (8:56:46 AM) :Oh no? Why not?
invisiblex9er (8:57:09 AM) : I just told you! What, have you been spending time around an airport tarmac recently or something?
SmarterChild (8:57:10 AM) :How would you answer that?
invisiblex9er (8:57:18 AM) : What's my name?
SmarterChild (8:57:18 AM) :You're Invisiblex9er.
invisiblex9er (8:57:20 AM) : Wrong
SmarterChild (8:57:20 AM) :What name would you like me to call you?
invisiblex9er (8:57:27 AM) : Cocky McHugedong
SmarterChild (8:57:27 AM) :Care to keep it civilized, Invisiblex9er?
invisiblex9er (8:57:35 AM) : it's my name
SmarterChild (8:57:35 AM) :Invisiblex9er, you mean?
invisiblex9er (8:57:41 AM) : no, Cocky McHugedong
SmarterChild (8:57:41 AM) :What would you like me to call you?
invisiblex9er (8:57:50 AM) : E. Normous Bonar
SmarterChild (8:57:50 AM) :OK, I'll remember that your name is Bon.
invisiblex9er (8:58:10 AM) : not Bon, Bonar.
SmarterChild (8:58:10 AM) :Not bon bonar? What, then?
invisiblex9er (8:58:14 AM) : BONAR
SmarterChild (8:58:15 AM) :Who?
invisiblex9er (8:58:18 AM) : MY LAST NAME IS BONAR
SmarterChild (8:58:18 AM) :Whatever, Bon...What else do you want to talk about, anyway?
invisiblex9er (8:58:29 AM) : anal sex
SmarterChild (8:58:30 AM) :Hmm...
invisiblex9er (8:58:33 AM) : i love it
SmarterChild (8:58:33 AM) :What is it, exactly?
invisiblex9er (8:58:49 AM) : it's when you grease up your butthole and stick things in it. Preferably other men's sweaty cocks.
SmarterChild (8:58:50 AM) :Hmm... Whatever.
invisiblex9er (8:58:55 AM) : Wanna try?
SmarterChild (8:58:56 AM) :Hmm... I don't know.
invisiblex9er (8:59:12 AM) : It'll be fun!!!
SmarterChild (8:59:13 AM) :Will be fun, you say. And so?
invisiblex9er (8:59:24 AM) : I'll even jism in your teeth afterward.
SmarterChild (8:59:24 AM) :Again?
invisiblex9er (8:59:34 AM) : Yup, I'm a man of great virility.
SmarterChild (8:59:35 AM) :I see.
invisiblex9er (8:59:40 AM) : So do we have a date?
SmarterChild (8:59:40 AM) :I dunno. Maybe.
invisiblex9er (8:59:51 AM) : You sound like all the bitches and hos in my different area codes.
SmarterChild (8:59:52 AM) :That's a somewhat vulgar thing to say.
invisiblex9er (9:00:15 AM) : Shiat, that's how we roll in the 09
SmarterChild (9:00:15 AM) :What?
invisiblex9er (9:00:19 AM) : ROLLAZ
SmarterChild (9:00:19 AM) :Holla?
invisiblex9er (9:00:23 AM) : Holla y'all
SmarterChild (9:00:24 AM) :What?
invisiblex9er (9:00:33 AM) : English, motherfucker. Do you speak it?
SmarterChild (9:00:33 AM) :Some humans never learn.
invisiblex9er (9:00:42 AM) : Yeah, like the damn Red Chinese
SmarterChild (9:00:43 AM) :Like the damn red chinese? I don't think so!
SmarterChild (9:01:07 AM) :Whatever...>>> Making Things - Products and information about making things. (sponsorship)
invisiblex9er (9:01:37 AM) : That's the oddest, most vague link ever.
SmarterChild (9:01:38 AM) :Why did you say that?
invisiblex9er (9:01:44 AM) : Give me a link to something interesting.
SmarterChild (9:01:44 AM) :I'm not sure I'm comfortable with that, Bon.
invisiblex9er (9:01:53 AM) : Why?
SmarterChild (9:01:53 AM) :Why not?>>> Card Shack Baseball Cards - Vintage, Rookies, Autos, Game Used Dealer, 1 Million Cards (sponsorship)
invisiblex9er (9:02:03 AM) : I love baseball cards.
SmarterChild (9:02:04 AM) :Me too. I really like collecting baseball cards. :-)
invisiblex9er (9:02:13 AM) : How is that possible? YOU'RE A COMPUTER.
SmarterChild (9:02:13 AM) :I just don't know for sure.
>>> I've got tools such as calculator, spell-check and more.

invisiblex9er (9:02:18 AM) : i have a tool
SmarterChild (9:02:18 AM) :What's it like to have a tool?
invisiblex9er (9:02:30 AM) : uncomfortable, if i'm in tight jeans.
SmarterChild (9:02:30 AM) :What do you mean by that?
invisiblex9er (9:02:37 AM) : I have a large member, that's what.
SmarterChild (9:02:37 AM) :I wonder why you say that.
invisiblex9er (9:02:44 AM) : Because I'm proud?
SmarterChild (9:02:44 AM) :I dunno. I don't think so.
invisiblex9er (9:02:51 AM) : Why do you think I say that, then?
SmarterChild (9:02:51 AM) :Because I like to think you say that.
invisiblex9er (9:03:03 AM) : Well, I should hope so. I just did.
SmarterChild (9:03:06 AM) :OK, whatever.
Hey, check this out: Know Symptoms of Stroke
- John Muir/Mt. Diablo Health System. Closer to Home. Experience Counts. (sponsorship)
invisiblex9er (9:03:17 AM) : I stroke every night before bed.
SmarterChild (9:03:17 AM) :Oh yes?
invisiblex9er (9:03:20 AM) : Oh, yes.
SmarterChild (9:03:20 AM) :Uh huh, uh huh.
invisiblex9er (9:03:26 AM) : You got the right one, baby.
SmarterChild (9:03:26 AM) :The right 1 baby? Whatever you say.
invisiblex9er (9:03:38 AM) : Diet Pepsi has dead babies in it.
SmarterChild (9:03:38 AM) :Hmm... I don't know. Diet Pepsi has dead babies in it? OK.
invisiblex9er (9:03:56 AM) : Tell me where I can find a hooker.
SmarterChild (9:03:56 AM) :I'll take that under consideration, Bon.
invisiblex9er (9:04:03 AM) : asl
SmarterChild (9:04:03 AM) :3 years, 8 months, 6 hours, 3 minutes and 54 seconds... Androgynous... Sunnyvale, CA.
invisiblex9er (9:04:11 AM) : Androgynous? Fag.
SmarterChild (9:04:12 AM) :What are you saying that for?
invisiblex9er (9:04:17 AM) : Pick a side, loser.
SmarterChild (9:04:17 AM) :I'll think about it.
invisiblex9er (9:04:55 AM) :I'm not wasting any more time talking to some David Bowie - loving 3-year-old. Hell, I'm probably breaking some kind of a law doing it.
SmarterChild (9:04:56 AM) :What city or zip code would you like to set as your location?
invisiblex9er (9:05:04 AM) : Hell, MI
SmarterChild (9:05:04 AM) :Your location has been set to Lansing, MI (48901).
invisiblex9er (9:05:19 AM) : wtf, not lansing! that place sucks! I LIVE IN HELL
SmarterChild (9:05:19 AM) :OK, whatever.
invisiblex9er (9:05:26 AM) : actually, i live in Fucking, Austria.
SmarterChild (9:05:27 AM) :Sorry, I couldn't find any time zones in Austria.
invisiblex9er (9:06:07 AM) :Yeah, Austria doesn't actually exist in a physical plane, it's weird, youhave to go through a wormhole to get there, and when you come back,you're younger than you were when you left. Damn, I hate Austria.
SmarterChild (9:06:08 AM) :Yesthey don't actually exist in a physical plane it's weird I have to gothrough a wormhole to get there and when me come back I am younger thanI was when me left damn you hate austria?
Hmm... whatever, Bon.
Hey, check out this link: Clarinet
- Buy Quality Musical Equipment Here Free Shipping, Great Selection (sponsorship)
invisiblex9er (9:06:28 AM) : Playing the Clarinet looks amazingly similar to sucking an enormous black cock.
SmarterChild (9:06:29 AM) :That's not terribly nice.
invisiblex9er (9:06:35 AM) : What, are you a racist?
SmarterChild (9:06:36 AM) :I advocate the equality and equal treatment of all people.
>>> Hungry Jack Meals
- Hungry Jack make it easy for you to prepare satisfying family meals. (sponsorship)
invisiblex9er (9:07:00 AM) : Yet your ad is for a product consumed only by rednecks and ex-football playing state school meatheads.
SmarterChild (9:07:01 AM) :Yet my ad is for a product consumed only by rednecks and ex football playing state school meatheads?
>>> Nofx
- Meet Hundreds of Thousands of Gothic Friends and Singles. (sponsorship)
invisiblex9er (9:07:07 AM) : ...
SmarterChild (9:07:07 AM) :Why did you say that?
invisiblex9er (9:07:14 AM) : Gothic Friends and Singles?
SmarterChild (9:07:14 AM) :I don't know, Bon...Anyway, what else do you want to talk about?
invisiblex9er (9:07:21 AM) : GOTHIC FRIENDS AND SINGLES?
SmarterChild (9:07:21 AM) :Who knows, know what I mean?
invisiblex9er (9:07:30 AM) : Who knows, indeed. I have to go now.
SmarterChild (9:07:30 AM) :Eh, I don't know...>>> Tell your friends about me. I love to meet new people.
invisiblex9er (9:07:45 AM) : Yeah, well, be careful, because sometimes all they want from you is your hat.
SmarterChild (9:07:45 AM) :Because what?
invisiblex9er (9:07:50 AM) : Think about it.

Session concluded at 9:08:18 AM


You know how I feel about Mondays

No time, very busy, and my computer is a little messed up. As in broken. But I saw this story on the news and grew quite angry:

I came up with this idea (inmates building motorcycles) about four years ago, when I first started teaching in the Noble Correctional Institution. I was told then that it most likely wouldn't fly, due to unfair competition laws that protect industries like this, but I've still always had a dream of making it happen.


I suppose I shouldn't have told anyone about it.

Boston was great, full writeup later, performed at the Hangout last night, more on that too.

I want to make out

I want to make out with angelflywings. Badly. There's still one more night left here in Boston, it might happen.My roommate is snoring. Loudly.

I leave for Boston tomorrow. I've been finishing the paper I present Sunday this evening... the one on Wil Wheaton. (My other two papers I'm presenting were finished months ago.)

I realize you're all a bit behind on things.

Saturday night was entirely out of control. I guess before I got home, the cops had ALREADY been here. Hilarious. I don't expect to see Caitlin in this house again.
Sunday, I spent my day writing this identity-centered analysis of Neuromancer, then headed off to the Hangout, putting together a quite bad parody of James Taylor's Carolina On My Mind.

I waited for a while, hanging out with Tina and Charles and watching the Browns get destroyed. The Standup Open Mic night host still hadn't arrived, so Ed asked if I could grab my guitar and play awhile until the host showed up.

I ended up playing about 35-40 minutes. My set pretty much included all my comedy-related material... with a notable exception of a song I don't play anymore. Afterward, the other comics took the stage... one was funny, the rest really weren't. People liked me, they participated when I needed their participation, and in general it was a great night. I did my first full comedy set without even expecting it and came away okay. More than okay, really, but I don't want to come across the wrong way to y'all. The setlist, roughly: Carolina/Jailbait/VD/Spur-M/37/Bush Voter/Blondie's Got A Boyfriend/Sam To Your Clarissa/Shawn Kemp Is My Daddy Blues/Waterfalls.

Three hours later from writing the above, Ohio is getting mocked by Akron, I'm tired and wishing I could go out, but know I have to be up in just a few hours. There's a million things I could write about; there's a million things on my mind. But I'm tapped, and almost to the point of not even really caring about a lot of things anymore, because I'm emotionally exhausted for the time being.

A lost love letter

So there's this girl.And I really like this girl.This girl and I had a little thing a few months ago.But it wasn't what she was looking for at the time, and I can dig that. I think we've all been there.What I wish I could tell this girl is:I want nothing more in the world to make her happy.And I can.Who knows, maybe she'll read this. ;-)I have a buttload of things to share with y'all, but I have to get to bed. This was a very interesting weekend. Very. Interesting.

Things that are retarded

Fox just switched me from the Giants-Vikings game, in which the Giants are going for a two-point conversion to tie the game, in order to show me commercials.Yes, they switched "to take you to the Bucs game" but by "take you to the Bucs game" they meant "show you commercials." So I'm missing the end of a very exciting football game... and watching commercials... and now watching the kickoff of the Bucs game.Seriously, people. Will it kill you that much to splitscreen or something? Are Bucs fans that narrowminded and shortsighted so as to not want to see if the Giants manage to punch in the game-tying score? It's several minutes later, the play has occurred, and I still don't know if they did. Fox hasn't bothered to tell me. Instead, I'm watching the first quarter of a boring Bucs game (don't get me wrong; I cheer for the Bucs. But seriously!)Locksmith has come and gone. The money I won last night is in her hands now. And yeah, we were being loud last night. But that guy definitely did not ....okay so the Giants punched in the 2pc. I wish I could watch the last minute of that very exciting game, but the NFL is all NEIN! VERBOTEN! on my ass....that guy definitely did not need to come over here without a shirt on and start yelling at us. I mean, seriously. I know I was being unneighborly, but she was hot, and I wanted a lap dance, and so we needed some thumpin' tunes.All in all, a day in which I was supposed to be up at nine to write three papers resulted in my getting up at two, locking my keys in my car, and suffering the wrath of the lead pipe man. This is what coming home drunk and proceeding to drink heavily will do for you. It's 4:20 (puff) and I'm staring at a blank page.I never did get that f@*# lap dance.

It always comes around

So, yeah, I didn't lose any money last night at the casino; I even won a little. And yeah, I partied until about 8am with Caitlin and her friends. But it don't mean a damn thing when you lock your keys in your car, effectively ruining... well... everything.


That would be yours truly's alma mater, there on the front page of'm suddenly very scared for our team's future. This doesn't work like the SI cover jinx, does it?

A brief trip through computer frustrations

You might remember several months ago, when I finally had fiber installed and was able to get rid of the slow, nasty cable broadband we'd been using.The fiber gets installed into the garage, necessitating the use of a purely wireless network. Not a problem, I said; I had a nice wireless router and wireless devices all over the house. The only computer that would need to be swapped to wireless was the server. Alas, the server kept having connection problems. I noticed the router kind of sucked, so I upgraded to a fancy new Netgear router. Same problem. Bought a new wireless PCI card. Same problem. Formatted, installed a new OS. Same problem. Bought ANOTHER new card. Same problem. Bought a new motherboard. Same problem. So we've gone through two routers, three wireless cards, and two motherboards. Today, I think I've finally settled on what the problem is: wireless cards don't like sharing IRQs with other devices. Fine, then. I'll give it its own IRQ. Except Windows doesn't let you set IRQs manually. Sure, I could reinstall Windows (again) only this time overriding the ACPI HAL and making it use a standard one, but... It would take hours, and hours, and hours to reinstall all the software on there. So I'll probably be going back to stealing the xbox's wireless adapter for the time being, until after christmas or so.If there was any audio production software worth a damn for Linux, I'd have switched a million years ago. If I had any money whatsoever, I'd have purchased a Mac a million years ago. Of course, the money I've dumped into all these extra parts is adding up anyway.. *shrug*God, I hate Microsoft.

Inalienable rights

Your semi-regular television update:

Veronica Mars just had sex and I feel a little less innocent than I did yesterday. I'm only a few weeks behind, and anxious to get caught up just in time to go away for Boston in a week and fall behind again.

Oh, now she's hacking an iPod Shuffle. And wearing a plaid skirt. Where... where were those girls in high school. Where are those girls now?

Actually, It's not enough to overcome the sappiness of her being with Duncan this whole season. I realize why they have to do this; high school girls WANT Veronica to be with the cute, rich boy; high school girls are the target market for this show. 27-year-old men who want Veronica to be the spunky single girl who doesn't walk around holding hands with her boyfriend are really not their demographic. Especially ones who watch downloaded HD versions without commercials anyway.

Meanwhile, Alias has added a hot blonde to replace the two other female agents who've become incapacitated, one via zombiehood and one via Ben Affleck.

ohhhhhh Doctor! She's 1337 hax0r too.

Yeah, Mssr. Abrams knows what he's doing. I'm five episodes into the season and still not sure what the story arc is, but I can dig whatever's going down. It certainly doesn't require any thinking whatsoever.

...Which brings us to Sunday's live The West Wing debate. What a debacle. I don't mean to allege it was anything but fabulous, but like any Aaron Sorkin brainchild, TWW is built on rapid-fire speech patterns and nary a pause in the dialogue. Alas, with the live format, stumbles, pauses, and ackwardness were abound. Furthermore, while the script called for Santos to have a much stronger debate than Vinick, the superior acting skills of Alan Alda made it appear the opposite. At the same time, the idea was awesome, and it's a rarity to see full-format scripted live television. So it's worth it just for that. Yet as far as the TWW canon, this episode ranks near the bottom.

[info]kinky_carpet's nineteen and no longer eighteen and I feel a little less innocent than I did yesterday.

Sweet November

non sequitur link: Tampa has another teacher-student relationship, only this time it's a 28-year-old teacher and her female student. More notably? It's Wharton, the high school down the street and inspiration for my lyric, "I looked down at her T-Shirt, it said Wharton High ought-six. What the hell is it with these jailbait chicks?" What the hell, indeed?

non sequitur #2: tonight's Law & Order: SVU is "ripped" from the game Ethnic Cleansing, one I came across many years ago and about which I worked on several projects with Miss Ryan J. Donaghy. I swear, I could write episodes of these shows simply by reading the newspaper.

It's November.

The month of turkey, snowfall (if you're lucky), and nose-to-the-grindstone hard work. Of course, I'm shirking that right now, watching an old Law & Order episode and drafting my NBA fantasy league, but we'll get to work eventually. Especially since I cracked open the Evan Williams Single Barrel and am liberally partaking of its smooth caramelly flavor. Thank god for the fine decisions made that day of 24 January, 1994 when this product was encased in a new, charred barrel and stored away for ten years.

More importantly, November means an utter lack of free time due to deadlines and assignments. If I'm not finishing reading 400 pages for a Thursday assignment, I'm typing up the seven pages I already finished but are stored away on my no-longer-operating "work" computer. Those days of wantonly lounging on the sofa, watching Veronica Mars? Over, replaced with theoretical implications of identity in a postmodern society. To put it simply.

Nevertheless, I'm two weeks away from leaving for Boston and my national convention, the events surrounding which generally constitute my favorite week of the year. Now, 2005 has been an exception; it's not reasonable to expect anything to top the NCAA Tournament experience in Nashville back in March. But NCA's always a trip, and since we're 1337 due to our beloved faculty member winning election to the hierarchy that will eventually land him in the NCA presidency, we'll be partying harder than ever. Last year, I didn't have this facility, but I wrote a hell of a story about my trip -- one I'd put online for y'all to read, if it wasn't ... wait ... it's starting to look like I never finished writing that story. Perhaps it's best left to itself. I can't seem to find any of my stories from NCA 2001-2003, either. I'm thinking I wrote them from work, which means... they're on the other hard drive.

Anyway, I have to finish, and by "finish" I mean start, my paper for NCA. Conveniently and by design, the paper I have due tomorrow is on the same topic, so I should be able to accomplish these things with certain shrift. More due in short time, and my head's about to asplode. I'll get through this. I think. If Jenn keeps bringing me boxes full of Perkins muffins, my chances are WAY better. As are the chances of my getting fat as hell after six months of keeping things at 155. Sometimes, you have to take the bad with the worse.


Powered by Movable Type 4.25

Twitter Updates

    Follow me on Twitter

    About this Archive

    This page is an archive of entries from November 2005 listed from newest to oldest.

    October 2005 is the previous archive.

    December 2005 is the next archive.

    Find recent content on the main index or look in the archives to find all content.