A swift Kick

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"WARNING: Contains Stuff you don't even want to know about!!"

"Do Not Taunt, provoke, or aggravate this product."

"WARNING: May be too intense for some members of the general public."

It came from the great minds of Royal Crown cola. Their goal: to compete with Mountain Dew for the coveted "young person's highly caffeinated citrus drink." Brought to national market in 1995, the fizzy drink had an equal amount of caffeine as the Dew with twice as much attitude. Mind you, this is before Mountain Dew became "extreme." Kick was the first beverage to feature a URL on the can and the first soda to appropriate the wide-mouth style that had been previously introduced by Coors ("Less glug," anyone?).

I was an early adopter of Kick, and took to carrying sixpacks with me everywhere I went. It tasted better than Mountain Dew and was only 35 cents in machines (I don't remember how much six packs were but they were cheap, apparently). Not everyone thought Kick was as great as I did.

From: g...@arh0280.urh.uiuc.edu (Geoge Gruschow)
Subject: Re: Kick Soda
Date: 1995/08/31
Message-ID: <424tds$i7m@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu>#1/1

I bought Kick the first time I saw it (I'll try almost anything), and I
hadn't ever seen an ad for it (still haven't).. not even the people in
the store knew what the heck it was. I took it out to the picnic I
was going to, and I was astounded.. It was Mountain Dew! I mean, it
wasn't really Mountain Dew, it was just the same taste again (you know
that funny milky citrus type taste in Mello Yello, Mountain Dew, and
Generic Citrus Drinks). I hate Mountain Dew!

Moral of the story.. GG's opinion of Kick: It sucks. Jolt Kicks Kick's Ass.


Well, he is a losar. Huge losar.

Ryan Flannery of the Kentucky Kernel didn't like it either, as he wrote on September 8th, 1995:

The following warning, yes, warning appears on cans of Kick: "Contains stuff you don't even want to know about." Needless to say, I read the ingredients. Among those listed were gum acacia, sweat from the brow of Larry (a worker at the bottling plant) and other natural flavors. Certainly, gastrointestinal juices from a dead opossum on New Circle Road would fall into the "other natural flavors" catagory (among other things). If you look up gum acacia in the dictionary, I'm pretty sure you'll discover it's just tree sap. Sounds refreshing, huh? They were right. I didn't want to know about this stuff.

Clearly this guy thought he was some kind of amateur Burke and Kline or something.

Anyway, Jenn didn't remember Kick, nor did her thugged-out boy toy of the moment, so it might have never been a national product. Or perhaps others didn't have the love affair with it I did. Oh well. I miss it. After it went off the market, I switched to drinking beer, and I haven't really gone back to soda.

Maybe some day.

2 Comments

I miss kick too thats how I found this :)

No doubt, I remember KICK, as you can see from the names of my email and myspace.
Me and some friends used to have some adventures with the stuff. Get in touch, we'll talk.

-Mike Blood

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    This page contains a single entry by tim published on January 23, 2005 8:51 PM.

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